However, I wonder...I wonder if there are times when what seems to be a failure is not necessarily so. Those times when you speak your piece instead of biting your tongue; aren't there times when it is necessary to do so? I'm not talking about taking the offensive only, but also in a defensive position. Sometimes, doesn't the pot thats calling the kettle black also need to recognize it's own position - that it is far worse than the accusation thrown?
I'm thinking about Jesus and the money changers. He was enraged at seeing the extent of these industrialists greed; the fact that they had actually had the nerve to set up shop in His Father's house. Ultimately, all sin, all avarice comes down to one thing. Selfishness. So, Jesus set them straight. He kicked their butts right out of the temple.
What I'm wondering right now is, at what point in time was this going on, and for how long? I mean, it seems to me that these people were regulars there, and did this perhaps daily? Was this the first time Jesus went into that particular temple, because I don't think the scriptures indicate which one it is. I don't know. I don't recall anything about a specific event or celebration going on, so they came in and set up shop like they normally did, and the pharisees were probably getting compensated-maybe even renting the space.
Did any of these people dare to accost Jesus when He came in to teach in the temple that day? Did they have the nerve to tell Him that it was inappropriate for Him to be speaking God's Word, and that He would drive away their business? Who knows. But when you are dealing with someone who is behaving inappropriately, how do you approach them?
Do you keep your peace about it, or do you speak your mind, and if you are going to speak your mind, how do you address it? What if someone comes at you because they want to put you in check? Now the shoe is on the other foot. How do you react, depending on how they approach you?
A few posts back, I mentioned an individual that I'm struggling with. Her manner of addressing me is extremely rude and disrespectful. She came at me again yesterday. And I will admit that the issue she called me out on was a bit valid. BUT, the nasty tone and manner in which she approached me; and the fact that she is the person the most frequently guilty of the disrespectful behavior she berated me about; angered me. She is so frequently an abuser in this behavior and so blatantly disrespectful of most everyone, that the boss has already said that he needs to find a way to get rid of her.
|This is the manner that she comes at me without any cause or provocation.|
So yes, I stepped out of my peaceful zone, and got in her face for once, and let her get an earful; because she needed to know that just because I have sat back quietly taking her crap since the first day I met her - just to keep the peace; does not mean I am her doormat to walk on, nor does it mean that I'm going to continue to put up with her insolence and rudeness.
All the other receptionists have told me that this is how she is, and I've witnessed her verbal abuse to them, and in front of clients numerous times. She has been verbally bullying everyone in that job for the longest time, and this is why the boss said he needs to get rid of her. I just made a conscious decision, that it was time for her to be put in her place, especially because she had the audacity to approach me the way she did.
So I had a few choice words for her about herself which she didn't like, as well as a directive about her need to refrain from ever addressing me in that manner again; but suffice it to say, she got the message. Was this Christian of me? Probably not, but then again, I'm not sure, because I'm not sure if it was righteous anger, or just my own personal anger and disgust of her that prompted the action.
I think the trigger for me was the fact that she was the last person who should have said anything about anyone else's behavior, whether appropriate or not and especially in consideration of clients present. So perhaps it was righteous anger, because honestly, what she called me out on was not even a big issue. She was right about it. I think that if I was angry about the issue she raised, then that would have been more of a self-related anger in my flesh from denial.
However, I readily admit that I was out of line a little, fussing because I was frustrated in general. However, had anyone else called me to the carpet on that, even a bit aggressively, I would not have been as angered as I was when the person the most guilty of excessive errant and disrespectful behavior, addressed me about it as the verbal bully she is. At that point, I felt it was imperative that she be told exactly the truth about her ways.
I can't lie to you. It felt really good to finally say something to her about her bullying ways. As soon as I said it, that heat was off me, and I felt good. Before, I was just resentful because I never spoke up before while trying to take the Christian track and forgive her, and be at peace with everyone. But sometimes, that doesn't bring you peace.
You know, I don't think that being a Christian means that we must always bite our tongues or hold our peace in the midst of adversity all the time. After all, which demonstrates more love? To put up with an abuser and their abuse and never challenge them on it, but talk about them behind their back; or to address it-to challenge them on it to their face even if aggressively, to put an end to it?
Sometimes, you are unable to forgive until you express the problem to the person causing the pain or resentment. She probably never saw herself that way, but whether or not she accepts what I said, I know she heard me. I feel better just for that now that its said and out in the open and she's aware. The act of forgiving is an ongoing one, but I think now it has a better chance of success where she's concerned.