Wednesday, April 23, 2014

The Labyrinth of Relationships: The Attitude of Entitlement

People are so self serving. I too, am probably guilty of this in some circumstances, to some degree. The degree to which I always find this demonstrated however, is as an extreme example, usually due to some person's failure to perform properly due to some set standard; whether in society, culture, or by rule or law; but always according to some self-centered reason. In such circumstances, there is usually a deceptive practice that is being covered up that is the catalyst for this behavior; which is often displayed in an attitude of superiority and entitlement.

The four examples I am presenting in no particular order, all happened  at one of three locations on my job; but some instances were of direct and indirect actions against both myself and others. As one of my co-workers later said to me after the most recent incident, "I don't want to see an attitude of entitlement, unless you are actually entitled."

In the first incident, I had a client who, at the start of a 1 hour session; decided, after a sample of my massage style; to increase the session to 2 hours. At the time, I immediately excused myself to go clear it with the receptionist, as I am in the practice of making sure that the time is available first, prior to notifying a client that this is ok to do.

The receptionist was fairly new, so that might have excused her behavior, but that fact didn't save her for another reason. It was incumbent upon her to check the book when I inquired about extending the time, and it did appear that she did that, prior to giving me the thumbs up. However, after I told the client that it was approved, the receptionist slipped a note under my door after the first 30 minutes of our session, to tell me that we had to cut the time back to a 90 minute session, as opposed to the 120 minute session that was preapproved. 

Finally, after the first 60 minutes, she slips another note under my door claiming that I had to stop the session altogether. At that point, I excused myself again, and came out of the room to find out what was going on, because I had adjusted my session for 2 hours, since it had been approved at the beginning, and then readjusted it after the first note had been slipped under my door, for 90 minutes. This meant then, that I was in the middle of the session, and not at a point to cleanly finish the session.

When I went to the front desk, another therapist I had never met was standing there, and the receptionist was telling me that she had made an error in approving the additional hour because this therapist was scheduled for the next shift and needed the room. I was very upset to say the least, so this therapist and another that worked there who had obviously been discussing this; turned to me and said that everyone was being inconvenienced by this, and that I could move my client into the room used for facials.

Now, its not like she was showing me any real concern. What she was doing, was trying to justify her own position, and tossing me a bone, in order to do so. Why didn't she take the room used for facials herself, since I already had my client on the table in my room,  and, as this was obviously interrupting the massage? The reason is because none of the therapists wanted to utilize that room, as it is full of equipment and there is little room to even maneuver about and around all that junk. However, it was fine in her mind, to assign that room to me per her own convenience. It was good enough, apparently, for me, but not for her.

What removed the "being a fairly new employee" excuse for the receptionist, was not only the fact that she had indeed looked at the book at the time of my request for an extension; but her attitude when I came out to object. It was like, "Oh well, I made a mistake. Tough luck! You'll just have to deal with it!" This was the attitude displayed to me in her nonchalant shrug.

What really ticked me off was that both of the therapists standing there made claims that "everyone" was being inconvenienced by this. The therapist that tossed me the bone of the facial room, claimed that she was being inconvenienced because she would be late setting up for her client; when in reality, if she had gone ahead and taken the room she was trying to assign to me, she would have been on time setting up and starting her massage. 

The other therapist, who apparently, was friends with this first one, claimed that she had told the owner about time extensions previously, because she said she sat for two hours waiting on a therapist who had extended without preapproval, and in her opinion, it shouldn't be happening at all. So she claimed inconvenience by saying it was an inconvenience to everyone.

I pointed out that I had not arbitrarily extended time without getting it approved first, and, at the very beginning of my session. Furthermore, this was not due to any error I made, but I was the person that was actually being inconvenienced here. No one else lost money due to this error, but me. 

I lost a considerable amount, because not only did I loose pay from that additional hour that I had to then cancel, because the incoming therapist selfishly refused to use the same room she wanted to assign to me; but additionally, that client had intended on not only extending that day for an additional hour, but also rebooking to see me the following week for another hour, just to work on her feet. I lost pay from that booking as well; because as a result of all of this nonsense, she never re-booked again. 

Furthermore, when the client was leaving, she told me that she had left me a tip at the front desk. When I questioned the receptionist about it, she claimed that the client had simply asked her for change, and never left a tip. So I lost my tip as well, because she acted like she had never received it. And all the while, all of these people acted like they were within their rights, and justified in all their actions.

In situation number two, at a different location, several of the therapists had begun to notice a trend among certain other therapists, who practice a particular style modality. These same therapists purchased their own special tables for their technique, and would frequently bring them to work and set them up for their use for the day. 

Since choice of rooms in this establishment is first come first serve, some of them conspired with one or two of the more immature receptionists, who play favorites. Due to this hidden agenda, they began bringing in their tables in the evening, to "set them up" for the next day. In this way, they would reserve the room of their choice the night before. With the approval of these same receptionists, they would also leave their tables set up in that room for the following day; if they were on shift, thereby holding or reserving the room of their choice for 2 days. 

All of the other therapists recognized this, and felt like this group was acting like they were privileged, and that setting up their tables gave them special license to disrespect the rest of the therapists, by disregarding the first come, first serve order of things. 

Some in this group acted like the incoming therapist should have to set up the regular table that was supposed to already be in that room; when they took their tables down at the end of their shift. Naturally, this attitude of entitlement caused some resentment among the other therapists.

The third situation was one in which one therapist created an extreme drama situation, drawing other people into the fray, placing blame and causing disruption to yet another therapist in the middle of a massage. This particular therapist was a recent hire and scheduled to come in to work at a certain time. 

However, because she didn't want to be inconvenienced, she called in to see if she was booked at that time. Upon finding out that she wasn't, she decided not to come in at her scheduled arrival time, and requested that the receptionist inform her as soon as she was booked.

In the meantime, another therapist, who had booked a private massage, came in to use a room for that massage; as we are allowed to rent a room for a private. There are six rooms in this particular location, however, the sixth room is small and mostly used for storage space for extra furnishings and supplies that some people do not use, like step stools, or small end tables. So most of therapists don't like utilizing this room for a massage because it is small, and because they have to clear it first, to set up.

When the first therapist decided not to come in on time per her schedule, she gave up her right to the last of the regular available rooms. The therapist with the private, who came in subsequently, got that room. Some time later, after she had started on her private massage, the first therapist was booked and was called by the receptionist and notified. 

She came bustling in right after I had arrived and taken the last available regular room that had just been vacated by another therapist from the previous shift. So this therapist had no other room left to use, but room six, which she didn't want. She looked at the book, and immediately demanded to know why the therapist doing the private was not in room six, and claimed that she should have the room that this therapist had.

Under the guise of "I'm not going to put up with this," which she frequently says, and which is an attitude that she utilizes to manipulate; she went outside the building to call the owner and complain. She told him only that the therapist with the private should not have a regular room if it was going to interfere with a regular booking; and that she should have that room, as she was booked and her client was soon to arrive. 

Mind you, she could have taken room six for that first hour, and then switched rooms afterwards, as other therapists on the first shift left, but she demanded that she had to have the room the private was being done in immediately, regardless of the fact that the therapist in that room was also scheduled on the book, and her scheduled time would have started after the 15 minutes she had left to complete that private massage.

Due to this dubious information and all the drama that came with it, the therapist with the private was forced out of her room. She then had to get her client off the table, let him get dressed, and move him to room six, which she had to rush to set up, for just 15 minutes that were left on her massage. 

All of this inconvenience happened because one selfish, self-centered therapist felt that she was entitled and above everyone else. Apparently, she thought she was too good to use room six. It was ok to put everyone else into turbulence due to her personal high opinion of herself; in which she was the proverbial gander who felt that what was good for the rest of the geese, wasn't good enough for her. And all this after she refused to come in on time for her shift, which would have ensured that she got the room in the first place.

The last example is yet another therapist who considered only herself, and keeping her client happy at the expense and aggravation of my client. My client booked a 90 minute session with me. For the first hour, everything was quiet and peaceful. However, at the start of the last 30 minutes; another therapist in the next room started her session with her client. 

However, it didn't sound like a massage session had been started. According to my client, it seemed to be a soap opera; as the therapist and her chatty client had a very loud, and ongoing, nonstop conversation, which included a lot of loud laughter that was disturbing my client.

At the client's request, I went out of the room to try to communicate with the other therapist about the noise. This after attempting to placate my client with the idea that perhaps the noise was coming from the shop next door, because there was no one in the room on the opposite side.

However, I excused myself from the room, went to the receptionist's desk, and got a piece of paper and wrote a note to the other therapist about reducing the noise. I stuck it under her door, as the receptionist was busy on the phone; hoping it would work. Once I was back in the room with my client, we discovered that it didn't seem to make a bit of difference. I knocked on the adjoining wall a few times, but the loud laughter and conversation continued, unchecked. 

My client was moving beyond angry and into furious. He sent me back out again to knock on the other therapist's door about the noise. When I did this and spoke to the other therapist, she claimed it was not her talking, and this claim was an attempt to justify herself. This was because she had grown quiet after the note was put under the door. However, she never bothered to say one word to her client about how much noise the client had been making, disturbing another client in the adjoining room.

Despite the fact that she was responsible to do this, this therapist stated that her reason for not saying anything to her client was because she didn't want to upset her. So apparently, it was fine for her to spare her client any upset at the expense of completely disrupting my client's formerly quiet, enjoyable massage. It was to the point wherein he stopped the massage early, because he said he was so stressed from the noise, more than when he had come in for the massage.

All of these situations and incidents happened at different time periods, and the owner was informed by various therapists that were witnesses to each incident. After getting a clear picture of all that had taken place the owner addressed the therapists involved in violating the rights of others, and several therapists witnessed a few radical attitude adjustments; which are typically the result of people being put in their place. It's a shame that things have to go to this extreme, and could be avoided if people would simply be other-centered, showing some basic consideration for the people around them; instead of self-centered.